DANGER! Get on the floor!

Detroit Red Wings



Darren Helm

Honestly when I started the polls to figure out who would represent the Wings, I figured it would be Nick or Pav or Z. I was wrong. You voted for Helm so here goes nothing.

Darren Helm is often noticed as one of the fastest skaters in the league. Although Darren has yet to make it to an All-Star weekend to test his skills, he is highly regarded around the league for his skating skills. Helm works very hard in the off season doing football drills and off ice training to maintain that lower body power that allows him to lap the competition when skating.

Darren has cemented a spot on the Red Wings' penalty kill. Moves like the moves that Darren displayed in the 2009 Western Conference finals during a penalty kill helped establish him as a force when down a man. What starts as a run of the mill penalty kill, turned into a game of keep away for Darren Helm.



At a team Halloween party, Darren came dressed as... Todd Bertuzzi. While most people would be afraid to mimic or mock Todd Bertuzzi, Darren Helm took that challenge up with his elaborate costume. Darren even went to the trouble of getting all of Todd's tattoos drawn on him in sharpie by a local tattoo artist.



Unfortunately for Helmer, He wasn't born ugly. Well... to be honest... I've never seen pictures of baby Darren so I don't KNOW that he wasn't born ugly. I just know that he isn't ugly now. Oh what a price that poor kid has to pay. Being an ugly hockey player is like living the dream. People don't treat you like you're a long-haired Canadian pop star when you're ugly. If you're young and ugly, people focus purely on your talent on not your money maker. By money maker I mean his face, Dirty birds of the Internet. Helmer often brings out the worst in some female fan girls. From explicit confessions to what they would do to him to girls literally following him or demanding his attention. Helm does seem to be able to handle dealing with the crazies quite well. Ok, sometimes he does look terrified and like he wants to run far away from some of these broads but MOST of the time he looks okay.

Being just 24 years old, Helmer is the present and future of our organization along with Justin Abdelkader. Now many will criticize Darren for his lack of finishing skills when he's in on net. Those people should remember two facts: Due to much offensive strength Darren didn't need to be one of our top scorers and that the majority of his ice time seems to come on the penalty kill. Is there room for improvement? Of course there is. Does he need to be bashed and beaten down because he wasn't in the running for the Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy? Absolutely not. Darren is young and is still finding his niche and role with our team. Be patient, it's not like he's creeping up on 30 and consistently screws up and doesn't do anything for our squad.

Clean Slate, Buddy.

Winnipeg Jets



Derek Meech

After the season concluded, Derek Meech announced that he was intent on parting ways with the Detroit Red Wings. On July 1st, he signed with the newly formed franchise in his hometown, the Winnipeg Jets. As Wings fans, most if not all of us wished Derek Meech well with his new club. Questions were raised by some new Jets fans as to why the majority of us weren't upset at Meech's departure and curious as to why he would want to leave the organization.

Derek wanted a bigger role with the Red Wings. A bigger role than what the Red Wings were willing to give Derek. Derek is not a bad player by any means but when you compare him to our youth, Meech fell a little short. During the 2008-09 and 2009-10 seasons, Derek Meech played in 90 games of a possible 164 games he could have played in. In those 90 games, Meech acquired just 13 points. Most chalk his lack of production up to experience but if you look at Darren Helm that excuse loses steam. Darren, who is three years to Derek's junior, played in 91 games in those two seasons nearly doubled Meech's point total. Granted, Derek splits time between defense and forward but members of both positions out preformed Meech.

Being that Meech is three years older than the younger guys that stepped up and took his place on the team, you wonder if the work ethic isn't there. Jakub Kindl, Darren Helm, and Justin Abdelkader are all three years younger than Derek. But for some reason, the coaching staff put their faith in the younger guys instead of asking Derek to step up. They put their faith in the older players nearing the ends of their careers instead of asking Meech to step up. They even went out and got new players instead of asking Meech to step up. Now don't get me wrong, I don't dislike Derek Meech in the slightest. I just wonder if maybe he wasn't given the chance or advanced along in our league because he didn't try hard enough or didn't want it enough. It takes a lot to want to be a player and even more to want to break into the Red Wings line up. The Red Wing line up is notoriously hard to crack and Derek just couldn't keep the spot even when he did crack the line up.

Is Derek lazy? I don't think so. Could he have tried harder? Maybe. I hope the Derek chooses to step it up with his new club, the Winnipeg Jets, and cement his spot on their roster so that his job status will never be questioned again.

Clean slate, Buddy. Make the most of it and Good Luck.

A very Laich-able guy

Washington Capitals



Brooks Laich

I heard rumblings from some Wings fans in the early off season about how they would love to see Brooks Laich on our squad. Now we know that didn't happen but at the time it had me checking into this Brooks Laich character. I knew of him but I honestly didn't look too much into him. Mainly because I tend to keep my focus on the Western conference and the players we see or will see multiple times a year. I discovered, for a player on an opposing team, I don't hate him. That's not because of his "ladies man" or "hottie" status. Brooks is a very hard working, dedicated, caring hockey player.

Brooks is a very charitable guy and always has been. In juniors, Laich helped his hometown raise money to buy a Zamboni for the local arena. Actively involved in charity work, Brooks is known to support charities related to multiple sclerosis and the charity Athletes Against Autism. But Brooks seriously cemented his good guy status when he stopped to help two Capitals fans change their flat tire after the game seven loss in the 2010 playoffs. He stopped to and helped them put on their spare and then apologized for the Caps early exit from the playoffs.

Brooks' off ice niceness wasn't the only thing that impressed me. His work ethic during summer training is impeccable. From lifting weights in skates to countless on ice drills, Brooks puts in the extra effort in the off season. Don't believe me? Below are two videos of Brooks' off season training.

Prepare to get bombed

Vancouver Canucks



Ryan Kesler
Sure, Ryan Kesler is a talented hockey player. Sure, Ryan was a key piece to the 2010 USA men's hockey team. Sure, Kes has a Selke trophy. Sure, Ryan is from LIVONIA, MICHIGAN. But today... Today we need a laugh. And thankfully, Ryan does some very funny stuff.


SO I GIVE YOU:

Kesler Bombing


Kesler Dancing


Kesler... Rapping


Not my most insightful blog but... I mean... Ryan Kesler singing "Baby Got Back"

Farewell, to the last of the Grinders

When I wrote a blog about what might happen this off-season, I never expected to be right. I never expected for Joey MacDonald to resign, Chris Osgood to retire, Ty Conklin to sign, and now... Kris Draper to retire. But unfortunately for long time Wings fans, That is the case.

There would have been no Grind line without Kris. He's centered that line like no one else could. From winning the Selke Trophy to helping the franchise win four Stanley Cups, there will never be another player like Kris Draper. Kris is the guy that pushes himself harder than any other player on and off the ice. Drapes encouraged the rest of the team to follow his lead. Often leading off-ice/away from Joe Louis Arena work outs, Drapes took the fitness both on and off the ice as his project.

Kris may not have been drafted by our organization, but he's ours. He may not have been born in Michigan but he's a Michigander and a Detroiter to us. He's been naturalized after just short of two decades with our organization.

Thanks for the memories, Kris!

















Thanks for everything, Enjoy retirement, and we'll miss you like crazy!


The retirements of some of our most favorite Wings have come too closely together it seems. So here's what I suggest: players who have names that end in "strom", are Swedish, and are the last remaining Red Wings from 97' cup year have to stagger their retirements... by a few years.

He doesn't drink... Or swear... Or rat his hair

Toronto Maple Leafs



James Reimer

With a butterfly style of play and a fundamental approach to goaltending, James Reimer seems to really have his stuff together for a young goalie. James held a 20 win, 10 loss, 5 overtime loss record this past season. It's not an undefeated record, but for a young goalie that's quite impressive. Of course, I usually find an connection to the Red Wings or Michigan and I indeed found one with Reimer. James an emergency call up due to the injury of Vesa Toskala. Who did James back up? A goalie that found himself in the same position a few seasons later. Of course I'm referring to Joey MacDonald who was our emergency call up this past season due to a goaltender injury


At just 23 years old, James is on route to becoming of the Maple Leaf fan favorites. Reimer is also a very faithful individual. As a Mennonite by faith, James attends church regularly.

As a testament of sorts to James' popularity with Leaf fans, I encourage you to watch Reimer. A Bloge Salming and Down Goes Brown production/parody to the tune of Rebecca Black's "Friday".

Pay no attention to the hipster behind the curtain

Ryan Lambert wrote another article in which he disses every Red Wing fan by calling them idiots for not agreeing with his opinion. Is that right? Did I get that right? I personally wouldn't know what Ryan Lambert said in his article because... I don't read them. For me, there is no sense in reading the vomitous dribble put to words in which he insults the city of Detroit with tired cliche insults and slings mud at an entire fan base.


So Ryan has spoke to every Red Wing fan on the planet now? He has? No, He hasn't. Red Wing fans, for the most part, disagree with Princess and thus Princess hates Red Wings fans. You don't see him slinging the insults or disparaging remarks to any other team. Why? Maybe it's because they don't stand up for their team like Red Wing fans do. Although I'm sure his reason is something along the lines of, "No other fan base is stupid enough to challenge my opinions".



Pity for poor life choices? Because being a blogger who spends the majority of his time concerning himself with a fan base and team that he claims to hate is so worthy of praise and accolades. (If you didn't denote sarcasm, you should have) Dissing the Red Wings is Ryan's bread and butter. The Yahoo guys know that if there is an article about the Red Wings that needs to be written about a subject that is important or means something to the Red Wing fan base, then Lambert is going to be on the by line. Why? Because they want page clicks. They want a thousand angry Wings fans to read every single negative word that Lambert has to say, get their blood pressure up, talk/tweet/text/facebook/blog about how mad it makes them, and thus in return they get more page clicks.

Ryan Lambert will never be assigned to a post where he will have to take a Pro-Red Wings stance. His niche is being negative towards this franchise and pissing off Wings fans world wide. So when you see a by line with Lambert's name and a title that is Red Wing related, expect it to be a hate filled article that will, nine times out of ten, piss you off. So you then have a choice, either read it and feed into his ego driven post about how he's so much better than anyone who has ever supported the Red Wings or don't bother and skip over it. There is no one forcing you to read his writing. It is not a requirement to be an NHL fan. He's just a jackhole so why waste your time?

One of the good guys

Tampa Bay Lightning



Steve Yzerman

Steve Yzerman was... Wait... What do you mean Stevie isn't a player so the player profile for Tampa wouldn't count? Pshhhhh... Fine!




Vincent Lecavalier

First and foremost, I want to quickly acknowledge Michigan State Spartan and Kalamazoo, Michigan native Adam Hall. That being done, Vincent Lecavalier is one of the good guys. Extremely charitable and involved in the community off the ice. Vinny made it a point to raise a few million dollars for the All Children's Hospital in St. Petersburg, Florida. That few million dollars was to fund a center to aid children and their families battling pediatric cancer and blood disorders. In response to Vinny's charitable efforts, the hospital named the center: The Vincent Lecavalier Pediatric Cancer and Blood Disorders Center. Some players help the community just enough but Lacavalier goes above and beyond to help the community in the city that he plays in. The NHL honored Vinny with the NHL Foundation Player Award in recognition of his commitment and service to charities in the community. As the captain of the Tampa Bay Lightning, Vinny sets the bar high for his fellow teammates and players across the league. Now that's how leadership is done.

The punishment should fit the crime

St. Louis Blues



T.J. Oshie

Everyone knows that coaches hate when players miss practices. But in the NHL, players opt out sometimes. Sometimes they miss morning skates, practices, and scheduled events. Oshie missed a practice on March 28th and it was "unexcused" so they punished Oshie by sitting him two games. I understand they like to keep order and have everyone working out and practicing together but is missing one practice such a big deal that he needed to be sat for two games?

The "Do what we say or else you're a goner" attitude has always floored me about some organizations. How is running your organization like a dictatorship where the players are second class citizens right? You can't play the game without players. The players are the key element in hockey. I fully understand that missing a practice is a big deal. But the punishment? The punishment was as severe as if T.J. had hit someone with a blindside hit or been involved in a dirty altercation on the ice. I agree that they needed to do something to make their point to check in and let the staff know that you aren't going to be there. I disagree with making him sit two games. I think they should have fined him or something along those lines but done so in a discreet manor. Instead, they made him look like a 12 year old that got grounded, shared it with the media, and made Oshie into a punchline. Order and discipline is one thing, but demoralizing your players is another.




Quick hit:
TJ's family has a thing for the letter "T" much like the Dugger family has a thing for the letter "J".

TJ's parents are Tim and Tina. He has two siblings, Taylor and Tawni.

What kind of example are you, Junior?

San Jose Sharks



Joe Thornton

If you're looking for a fluffy "Gee, how great is Jumbo Joe!" piece then you're reading the wrong blog. I never particularly liked Joe Thornton in the first place but this past playoff series cemented the fact the I will probably never like him.

I despise players who dive. I hate diving with the fire of a thousand suns. Of course, we all remember the Game Five swan dive that Joe took after receiving a light tap on the skate by Johan Franzen. But just in case you didn't see it, watch below:



A light tap on the skate and the jackhole falls like he was just shot by a sniper in the rafters? Oh please. Shall we tattoo "FRAGILE" on his forehead? As the captain of the team, you would expect that he would act with some sort of dignity but NO. That's apparently not how Joe operates. He also had issues with snowing Jimmy Howard. For those of you not familiar with the term (how are you not familiar?), it's when you stop and turn your skate so that ice/slush/water sprays the goalie in the face. It's a completely disrespectful, low thing to do to try and get under a goalie's skin.

You would never see Nicklas Lidstrom dive on a person like that. You also would never see Nick disrespect another team's goalie by snowing them like Joe did to Jimmy Howard. If that's the leadership in that organization, then maybe that's the answer to why they have yet to win the Stanley Cup or even a conference championship. I'm not saying that Joe is the sole reason why they haven't won, but it all starts with leadership.



So, Joe dons the "C" and sports the number 19?

Well Joe, This is what a real captain that wore 19 looked like. Take notes.

Can he change?

Pittsburgh Penguins



Matt Cooke


I'm not even going to play and act like I haven't already formed my opinion on Matt Cooke. I have. I think he makes very poor choices when it comes to hits. In fact, I'm no entirely sure that Matt Cooke knows how to hit cleanly. I'm sure he can, but it doesn't seem to be in his nature. Before anyone starts jumping up and bringing in Todd Bertuzzi for no good reason, hear me out.

Matt Cooke was a member of the Vancouver Canucks during the Steve Moore incident. In fact, he replaced Bertuzzi on the line Todd was playing on during his suspension. Having lived through that unfortunate mess with the Vancouver Canucks, Matt should have known that hits and questionable plays have consequences. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case.

Before I state my case, I'm sure some Pens fan is sitting there going "But.. But.. But.. TODD BERTUZZI". What about Todd Bertuzzi? He had a very bad situation when it came to the Steve Moore incident, served his suspension, did his time, paid the money, and has moved on. If we ignore the number of games that either player was suspended, Matt Cooke has been involved in more questionable incidents than Todd. Todd's only other major indiscretion happened prior to the Moore incident and was a suspension for leaving the bench to help a teammate during a fight. Granted, leaving the bench to help a teammate during a fight is against the rules but in the grand scheme of things it's not that bad. And for that incident, Todd served his time. I'm not minimizing the Steve Moore incident by any means, I'm just making the point that Todd being excessively violent was an isolated incident.

Over the past three years, Matt has been involved in at least five situations where the league has either assessed a suspension or should have assessed a suspension. Five. That fact leads me to believe that every Pittsburgh fan that says that the Ryan McDonagh elbow was an isolated incident lives in a bubble. From elbows to head shots, Cooke seems to be unable to learn his lesson. Matt Cooke, following the 10 game suspension at the end of this season, expressed how he needs to change. It's true. He does. That's something that should have happened in 2009 after he had been suspended twice for bad hits. Only time will tell if Matt is capable of truly changing.

Nasty or Smart?

Phoenix Coyotes



Paul "Biz Nasty" Bissonnette

Did I really have any other choice except to profile Biz? Some might say yes but I don't think I could do a player profile and not include Biz Nasty. Some say that Biz is a joke and a disgrace to hockey. I think Biz has made some very smart moves. Shocked? You shouldn't be. Biz has made an entire side career by being ridiculous and making fun of himself. From a deal with a clothing line to becoming one of the most popular athletes on twitter, Biz has found his niche.

When your career mostly consists of being the healthy scratch or the bench warmer from the fourth line, you tend to be forgotten about. Instead of being the guy that everyone forgets, Biz has made himself into the player that everyone remembers. People talk about him more than any player on their roster. Granted, the talk isn't about his spectacular playing style but you're still talking. Biz triggers something for hockey fans across the NHL. Some hate and chirp him, some love every ridiculous thing that he says or does. Some may not like that attention or the joke he makes out of his lack of playing time but he does bring in a whole new demographic to the sport and has fun with his situation.

Is Biz making a joke out of himself a bad thing? No, it might be the smartest thing he has ever done in his career.

Maxime Talbot: Traitor or Opportunist?

Philadelphia Flyers



Maxime Talbot

It used to be that a player didn't want to be traded to or sign with their arch rival. It used to be a taboo thing to play for the team you feud the most. It used to be. The Pennsylvania rivalry has existed as long as the two franchises have. A sort of bragging rights type of rivalry much a kin to the Michigan/Michigan State rivalry (Go Green). Well in the world of rivalries, Maxime Talbot just crossed over the dividing line and became a Flyer.

I saw many Penguins fans say that Max was a traitor and left to, in some way, intentionally hurt the Pens. First of all, I'm sure that wasn't the case. A player usually doesn't leave a franchise for their rival franchise out of spite. Look at Hossa. Hossa didn't leave the Penguins for the Red Wings out of spite. He left because he thought he could win with the Wings. He then left the Wings for their arch rival to try and win with Chicago. Some players want to win and winning is their sole objective. Take a look at Chris Chelios. The former face of the Blackhawks franchise left for Motown for a chance at winning, and winning he did.

Maybe the recent struggles that the Penguins have had led Max to doubt the winning ability of that franchise. Players don't play the game to lose. They play the game to win or have a chance at winning. My educated guess on the matter would be that the Pens didn't offer Talbot the type of offer he was looking for. Maxime obviously wanted a multiple year deal with some zeros like he got from Philly.

Does leaving the Pens for the Flyers make him a traitor? I don't think so. Does it make him an opportunist? Quite possibly.

If today is the day

Days like today are the days when the non-emotionally invested "fans" revel in the fact that they don't give a fuck. The past month has been a roller coaster ride when it came to the fate of one of my favorite goalies, Chris Osgood. It looks like today might be the day that Ozzie will hang up the skates.

I will always have a soft spot for Chris. Even though I had considered the possibility that Chris would hang them up, I never accepted that to be the case. And when he hung them up, I expected to watch a press conference full of "Don't cry for me Argentina" jokes and classic Osgood satire. But it looks like one of my all-time favorite Wings will probably hang up the skates via telephone call. I understand that a low-key, no hoopla affair is right up Ozzie's alley but you can't help but know that Chris deserves all the hoopla. We would not have won the cup in 1998 or 2008 without him and anyone who says otherwise is a fool.

When I met my fabulous group of hockey friends, some of our first jokes involved Chris Osgood. From quoting his Red Wing yearbook interview to laughing at him drinking Pepsi on the ice at training camp, Ozzie was the center on our attention. When people were down on him in late October, that same group of friends and I made a sign that simply said in big bold letters "We love you Ozzie".

Today is one of those days that I'll be glad to be at work missing all the action on twitter. So many want to discredit Chris Osgood and bash him. To all the Ozzie haters I simply say, Fuck you. If today is the day that Ozzie says goodbye to his playing career then everyone should check their negative bullshit at the door and celebrate the career of Chris. Jimmy would not be the player he is today without Ozzie. This organization would not be the way it is today without Ozzie. I would not be the fan I am today without Ozzie. Losing Ozzie will be like losing an internal organ or rather getting a transplant. A big piece will be missing out of that locker room and I hope whatever goalie replaces him steps up in a huge way to try and fill that void.

If today is the day:


Ozzie,

Thank you for everything that you have done for this organization. Thank you for giving so much of yourself to make this team what it is today. Thank you for the hard times and the good times. Thank you for everything. No matter what the HOF voters or bullshit sceptics say, You belong in the Hall of Fame in my book.

We'll miss you and we love you, Ozzie.

More than you'll ever know.





If today isn't the day:
THANK WHATEVER GOD YOU DO OR DO NOT BELIEVE IN.

Jason Spezza: Le Model

Ottawa Senators



Jason Spezza

You all might know Jason for playing with the Ottawa Senators but did you know that he started off as a child model? I'm not kidding you. Jason modeled for Minute Maid, Woolco, and Kmart.





He also has the nerdiest laugh on the planet.


The Ottawa Senators are also known for some cheesy stuff. See below:



Additions to this post may come later tonight.

Sloppy seconds anyone?

New York Rangers



Sean Avery

I know that the league, the Stars organization, and Sean Avery have all worked very hard to move past the "sloppy seconds" situation. I'm bringing it back up. Why? Because I think it's horseshit. Sean getting a six game suspension for saying that other players tend to fall in love with his sloppy seconds is stupid. Down right stupid. Technically, Sloppy seconds isn't even that big of an insult. We all say it. It's more of a "I had her/him first for the record" type of saying. And let's face it, two of Sean's exes did end up dating other players THUS they got Sean's sloppy seconds. I don't think that Sean deserved to sit six games and go into treatment. To me, this fell into a classic case of Colin Campbell deciding he didn't like a player. And when Colin Campbell decided he didn't like a player they got everything and the kitchen sink thrown at them.

Cited as the main reason the Stars dumped Avery was because then coach, Dave Tippett, had said he told Avery not to talk to the media about his former girlfriends and was very upset when he did. Really? That's why you kicked him off the squad? Because he talked about his former girlfriends when you told him not to? What a cop out. Why not sit him for a game? Oh no. You wouldn't do a silly thing like that. Just get rid of the guy all together. So smart.

Now don't get me wrong, Sean has a tendency to be a jerk sometimes. We all know that. But that's Sean's job. He's an agitator. That's his role. He's the guy that rattles cages and throws the top guys off their game. Most people hate Sean Avery, I kind of don't. That might have something to do with the fact that he made his start here in Detroit. No matter how much he loves ladies fashion or dresses like a hipster, I kinda like that little fucking jerk.

Left college for... the Islanders

New York Islanders





Kyle Okposo

I gave the Chicago Blackhawks and Duncan Keith crap about the reason he left Michigan State early possibly being because the Hawks potentially made him leave. Well when looking for an Islander to profile I came across the fact that the Islanders forced the hand of Kyle Okposo to leave the University of Minnesota. Not only did they get Kyle to leave but when questioned about it, Garth Snow trashed the Minnesota team and it's coaching staff. Kyle played with the team up until December. That's smack dab in the middle of hockey season when Kyle announced he was leaving to his teammates.

As I said before during the Hawks profile, there is no trade route or free agent market to go to when a player on your college hockey team abandons his squad in the middle of the season. I agree with the statement that the coach at Minnesota, Don Lucia, had to say about the matter.

"We have had numerous players sign and play in the NHL, but just as important many more move on to have successful careers after graduating from the University of Minnesota. We have always and will continue to work to ensure our players reach their potential on the ice and in the classroom."

When you sign up to play college hockey, it is not only about the hockey. It is also about the education. If you do not want an education, then college hockey probably isn't the route you should be taking. At the end of the day, these guys that go to college for a year then leave for juniors or the AHL are taking a spot and a full ride scholarship away from a player that might need and want to be a student athlete for that college.

He's not fat... He's just big boned.

New Jersey Devils



Martin Brodeur

I always knew that Marty Brodeur was very accomplished... I just didn't quite comprehend how accomplished he is. I'm not one for flipping the script to the statistics side of the game but... I mean... Good gracious look at these accomplishments.

Calder Trophy Winner
Ten time All-Star Game participate
Three time Stanley Cup winner
Four time Vezina Trophy winner
Five time Jennings Trophy winner
Two Olympic gold medals
Two W.C. silver medals
Second place in playoff wins with 99 Wins
Third goaltender in history to win the Stanley Cup with a Game-7 shutout in 2002–03.

Hold onto your hats on this one. Here are the records that Marty holds:

Most shutouts
Most combined shutouts
Most regular season wins
Most wins in a single regular season
Most minutes played in a single regular season
Most overtime wins
Most consecutive 30 and 35 win seasons
Most 40 win seasons
Youngest goalie to obtain 300-400-and 500 career wings
Only goalie to reach 600 wins
Most games played
Most minutes played by a goaltender
Only NHL goalie to score a game-winning goal
Tied for most career goals by a goalie
Most shutouts in a playoff run
Most shutouts in the finals
First goalie to have three shutouts in two different playoff series

Fatty Brodeur

Is he fat? Not really. Does he carry more weight than the average goalie? Sure. For his height and weight, if you calculate his BMI he is considered overweight. I had a feeling that Marty might not be in this boat alone so I tested the heights and weights of 10 goalies in the BMI calculator. Of those tested, only three goaltenders were considered to be in the healthy weight range. Those goalies were: Miikka Kiprusoff, Ryan Miller, and Pekka Rinne. The goalies considered overweight were Jonathan Quick, James Reimer, Jimmy Howard, Tim Thomas, Henrik Lundqvist, Roberto Luongo, and the 178lb goalie Chris Osgood. While BMI calculators might be good for doctors to indicate the health or proper weights of "average" folk, they're really not applicable to NHL goalies. And for the record, of the ten goalies compared against Marty, he was not the highest in weight. Granted, he was second but that first prize went to Roberto Luongo who edges out Marty in the weight category. He's bigger but he's not fat.

It wasn't "Goodbye", It was "See you later"

Nashville Predators



Mike Fisher



Earlier today, Mike Fisher tweeted this:



Reading this tweet made me question a few things. Why shouldn't/wouldn't Ottawa welcome Mike back? Mike didn't publicly ask for a trade like former Ottawa Senator Dany Heatley. In fact, He didn't ask for one at all nor did he want to leave Ottawa. You don't spend 11 seasons with one team by accident. Mike was the franchise and would have been a franchise player but it was not in the cards. When a team says they're rebuilding and you're a part that they want to get rid of, there is only one thing to do. That one thing is to leave the organization on as positive of a note as one can and make a new start with your new team.If Mike had some master plan of deserting Ottawa I don't think he would have went to the trouble of building a home for himself and his wife there.

Now that I've brought up his wife, I'll say what I said from the beginning. Carrie Underwood is not Mike's agent. Carrie isn't the General Manager for the Senators nor is she the General Manager of the Predators. The likelihood that this was some grand scheme by her is ridiculous. I'm sure she was very happy to see Mike go to Nashville on a personal level. Did she in some way orchestrate this trade? No. And the fans that said they would disown both Carrie and Mike for his trade are just as ridiculous.

Disowning a player for their spouse? Red Wings fans didn't disown Sergei Fedorov when he was with tabloid magazine queen, Tara Reid. Why? Because the personal lives of players shouldn't effect your opinions of them. If you were a Mike Fisher fan before he got with his wife, then you should still be a Mike Fisher fan. Because, even though is marital status changed, his skill and ability as a player have not.

Mike Fisher has spent an unknown number of hours raising money for charities like Roger's House and the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario. Not to mention, he runs several hockey camps during the summer including one in Ottawa. I assure you that even though Mike no longer plays for Ottawa, He has not forgotten the city that made him.

I'm sick of it. You're sick of it. Let's be sick of it together.

"Hahaha. Let's have Mike Commodore wear number 64 so he'll be Commodore 64. Hahaha."

That joke was funny for about an hour when the Red Wings signed Mike and has grown tired and played out. I am completely not for this whole notion that Mike Commodore HAS to wear the number 64. In fact, I'd prefer if he didn't wear 64. But if he does or doesn't is his choice. When the rest of the NHL chimes in and wants a player to wear a number so that they'll get a good laugh out of it, I have issues with that. When a certain blogger known for hating the Red Wings chimes in and wants Mike to wear that number so that blogger can have a good laugh, I have a problem with that. When fans of the Wings say that the only reason that they'll support Mike Commodore is if he wears 64, I have an issue with that.

If the only way you'll support Mike Commodore on the Detroit Red Wings is if he wears 64 and is the punchline of the season for the rest of the NHL then maybe you should reconsider why your fandom. I'm not saying that wanting him to wear 64 makes you less of a fan, I'm just saying that if that is the sole and only reason you would support him then maybe you shouldn't even concern yourself with him. A number shouldn't determine whether or not you like a player. I 100% guarantee that Mike did not come here to be a joke or the team's gimmick. Players don't come to this team thinking, "Wow, I sure would like to be the laughing stock of Detroit!" They come here to have a good chance at winning, to win, or to be a part of one of the best organizations in professional sports. The number they choose should not reflect upon how you view them as a player.

Furthermore, the rest of the NHL putting pressure on Mike to wear 64 should just mind their business. At the end of the day, I don't pressure Patrick Kane to change his number to 20 because I think I could have a good laugh of it. Why? Because what number a player wears is and should always be of the player's choosing and not due to pressure by people who think a computer joke is funny. Those hellbent on making Mike look like a jerk if he doesn't end up wearing 64 should really reexamine their lives.


With that, I'm done discussing this issue. Mike will make his choice for himself in Traverse City at training camp.

I don't want to be invited to the family reunion

Montreal Canadiens



Carey Price

Carey's struggles have been noted everywhere. After two rather strong seasons with the Habs, Carey began to struggle. In the 2007-08 season, Carey started 41 games and of those 41 games he won 24. In the 2009-10 season, Carey again started 41 games but this time only won 13. In terms of grades, that's like going from a low D-/high F range to a straight up F. Carey bounced back slightly last season but is still not on the roll that the Montreal Canadiens would like. But let's face it, Carey's struggles isn't want caused me to profile him.

Before I give the real reason why I profiled Carey, here's a little background information. Carey was born in Anahim Lake, British Columbia. Carey's father was a goaltender as well. Although Jerry Price (Carey's Dad) didn't get a chance to play in the NHL, he was drafted by the Philadelphia Flyers organization in 1978. Carey is of native heritage. Carey's mother, Lynda, is the former chief of the Ulkatcho First Nation. Lynda often expresses how very proud of and excited the native community is for Carey in his NHL career.

Let's discuss the weird part. Carey has two cousins in the NHL. Shane Doan of the Phoenix Coyotes and Keaton Ellerby of the Florida Panthers are both second cousins of Carey. Can you imagine that family reunion?


+



I'd be scared too, Carey.

Requested or Imposed

Minnesota Wild





Dany Heatley

First and foremost, I would like to say that I am not minimizing Dany Heatley's past. I am merely looking beyond that. We all know about the unfortunate accident that resulted in the passing of Dan Snyder. We know that Dany was responsible. And we know that Dany's career has taken a different route that anyone has expected since the accident happened. But there's more to Dany Heatley than a tragic accident. Dany Heatley was born in Germany and holds dual citizenship between Canada and Germany. Despite having been born in Germany, Dany often represents Canada in international competitions. Dany has won 4 Gold Medals, 3 Silver Medals, and 2 Bronze Medals in international competitions while representing Canada. Although Team Canada often pushes Sidney Crosby as their poster boy, Dany is the All-Time leading point and goal scorer for Team Canada.

In his nine years in the NHL, the Minnesota Wild will be Dany's fourth team. Despite having only played a few seasons with each team, Dany holds franchise records in every city he's played with. Dany holds 6 records with the Ottawa Senators, 1 record with the now moved Atlanta Thrashers, and 1 record with the San Jose Sharks. He holds the league record for most goals in an All-Star game. Heatley also holds a place in history by having scored the first game-winning shootout goal.

Dany requested a trade to get out of Atlanta in hopes of moving forward after the accident. He requested a trade to get out of Ottawa in hopes to get more of an opportunity to play. He was traded to the Minnesota Wild for Martin Havlat. My question is: Was this a trade that the GM of the San Jose Sharks came up with or did Dany request a trade yet again? I would imagine Dany wasn't too thrilled that in both of his seasons with the Sharks they advanced to the Western Conference finals and lost both years. It's quite obvious that Dany wants to win and wants to be an integral part of that win. Did he request this trade? Not that I'm aware of but it would fit the pattern. So, Will Minnesota be the place for Dany or will we hear of another request to move down the road? Only time will tell.

The NHL is taking over twitter

Hockey players have been joining twitter like CRAZY. With so many people joining, I had to update the NHL twitter account list. Very few are gone but a lot more are added.

NHL Team Twitters

New York Islanders - Vancouver Canucks - Tampa Bay Lightning

Nashville Predators - St. Louis Blues - San Jose Sharks

Ottawa Senators - Pittsburgh Penguins - Phoenix Coyotes

Toronto Maple Leafs - Philadelphia Flyers - New York Rangers

Atlanta Thrashers - New Jersey Devils - Montreal Canadiens

Colorado Avalanche - Minnesota Wild - Los Angeles Kings

Boston Bruins - Florida Panthers - Edmonton Oilers

Washington Capitals - Detroit Red Wings - Dallas Stars

Columbus Blue Jackets - Chicago Blackhawks - Carolina Hurricanes

Buffalo Sabres - Anaheim Ducks - Calgary Flames

NHL Players, Former Players, and Television Personalities

Jordin Tootoo

Marian Gaborik

Machael Cammalleri

Joffrey Lupul

Scottie Upshall

Steve Sullivan

Martin Havlat

David Perron

Mike Green

Cam Janssen

Brad Winchester

Theo Fleury

Alex Ovechkin

Brent Sopel

Mike Komisarek

Ryan Kesler

TJ Oshie

Kevin Weekes

Trevor Linden

Bret Hedican

Max Talbot

Blake Geoffrion

Mike Rupp

Patrick Elias

Wes Walz

Rory Fitzpatrick

Eric Fehr

Tie Domi

Brandan Witt

Dan Boyle

NHL

NHLPA

Gary Bettman

Darren Pang

Matt Barnaby

Scott Morrison

Jeff Marek

Hockey Night In Canada

Peter Ferraro

James van Riemsdyke

Bobby Ryan

Steve Webb

Dustin Brown

Kevin Miller

Rob Schremp

Mike Johnson

Alex Foster

Ben Bishop

Mike Testwuide

Corey Elkins

Danny Syvret

Matt Moulson

Riley Cote

Tom Chorske

Troy Murray

Paul Bissonnette

Steven Stamkos

Nate Thompson

Matt Beleskey

Anthony Stewart

Troy Bodie

Zach Boychuk

Matt Duchene

Derick Brassard

Jonas Holos

RJ Umberger

Trevor Frischmon

Jeff Petry

Jim Vandermeer

Linus Omark

Ryan Jones

Ryan Whitney

Taylor Hall

Mathiew Darche

Max Pacioretty

Mark Dekanich

Michael Grabner

Bruno Gervais

Michael Del Zotto

Donald Brashear

Matt Carle

Jody Shelley

Michael Richards

Tom Sestito

Andy Miele

Kyle Turris

Oliver Ekman-larsson

Sami Lepisto

Aaron Ward

Chris Dingman

Chris McAlpine

Corey Hirsch

Geroges Laraque

Greg Millen

James D. Craig

Jamie McLennan

Jeremy Roenick

Kelly Hrudey

Val Bure

Wendel Clark

Logan Couture

Alexander Steen

Chris Stewart

Ian Cole

Vincent Lecavalier

Colby Armstrong

Darryl Boyce

Luca Caputi

Tim Brent

Tyler Bozak

Andrew Gordon

John Carlson

John Erskine

Karl Alzner

Jamie McGuinn
Eric Tangradi
Tyler Seguin
Shane O'Brien
Martin Biron
Brandon Prust
Bill Sweatt
DJ King
Alexander Steen
Henrik Lundqvist
Jake Gardiner
Krys Barch
Marc-Andre Bergeron
Ryan Hollweg
Colin Wilson
Kevin Poulin
Steve Kampfer
Ben Scrivens
Aaron Voros
Sean Avery
Carl Gunnarsson
Frazer Mclaren
Taylor Chorney
Linus Omark
Daniel Winnik
Darryl Sydor
Jamie Lundmark
Brian Sutherby
Kyle Okposo
Oscar Moller
Ben Maxwell
Austin Watson
Brandon Archibald
Ray Emery
Travis Turnbull
Ryan O'Byrne
John-Michael Liles
Brett MacLean
Mike McKenna
Zach Redmond
Rowe Andrew
Brent Burns
Nick Tarnasky
P.K. Subban
Mark Stuart
Jonathan Quick
Brad Richards
Martin Brodeur
Ryane Clowe
Yannick Weber
George Gionta
Matt Lashoff
Victor Hedman

Red Wing connections

The Prospect Parade
(some of them at least)
Tomas Jurco
Ryan Sproul
Brendan Smith
Alan Quine
Tyson Teichmann
Trevor Parkes

Former Wings
Former Red Wing and current agent to Drew Miller
Jason Woolley

Former Red Wing and all around bad ass
Darren McCarty

Current Wings
The only current Red Wing on our team
Mike Commodore
(Welcome to Hockeytown, Mike)

(disclaimer- I went through great pains to try to verify that the accounts were indeed the player, personality, or team BUT as with anything on the net it is very hard to be 100% sure unless they are verified by twitter. Some players, personalities, and teams have been having a hard time getting their accounts verified by twitter. So, If there are any impostors in the list I sincerely apologize for the mistake.)

A brief trip to La-La Land

Los Angeles Kings


Anže Kopitar

As always, I have to shout out the Michigan boys on the roster. Sending some mitten love to the Michigan boys: Matt Greene and Alec Martinez.

Anze is the frist Slovenian to play in the NHL. A pretty big accomplishment for someone who is just 23 years old. In Kopi's five seasons with the LA Kings, he has won 11 LA King awards. These awards included two nods as the Most Popular player on the Kings and a nod as the best defensive forward. Anze holds the record for most consecutive games played by a player on the LA Kings with 330. The streak of games stopped when Anze broke his ankle in March of this year.

Kopi speaks five languages. Slovene, Serbian, German, Swedish, and English. His grandmother was an English teacher and taught Anze and his brother both to speak it. Growing up, Anze considered Sergei Fedorov to be one of his top favorite players.

Anze also does something that I rarely see players do. He goes and sits on the bench in an away arena after the game. I was there to witness it once after a game in Detroit. I find that quite interesting seeing that the arena was not completely empty (hence how I saw that he does this). Maybe it's a quirk. Maybe it's a superstition. Or maybe he just wanted to sit on a bench in a mostly empty arena. Either way, I'll be on Anze watch after the December 17th game at Joe Louis Arena.