Thursday, December 30, 2010

I guess you wouldn't know he scores hat tricks

After last night's first career hat-trick for Mister Patrick Eaves everyone seems to be loving up on the Hobo. As an avid supporter of the Hobo this makes me absolutely ecstatic. Mister Hobo made the top three stars for both the NHL and Puck Daddy.

And if you're new to the Hobo loving side of things... I guess you wouldn't know he plays Ping Pong.


Congrats Hobo on your first career hat-trick!
(And FYI there are a bunch of people who loved you before it was cool to love you. Those people love you the most-est! *Except for maybe Mama Hobo... or Wifey Hobo... or Baby Hobo... you get the point. We LOVE you bunches.)



And it wouldn't be me if I didn't close with a Jackhole.


The Jackholes of the Day are...

The people that are now saying that Patrick Eaves is "too good" for Detroit now that he scored a hat-trick and will leave.
Just celebrate his accomplishment and cut out your Jackhole jibber jabber, creepers.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Monday, December 27, 2010

FOUR WEEKS?!?

Red Wing fans have found ourselves in the predicament that we will be without Pavel Datsyuk and Danny Cleary for FOUR WEEKS.

The WEIRDO that I am immediately decided to help Danny and Pav by giving the suggestions on what to do with their off ice time.

DANNY COULD....


Grow a beard and challenge Z to a "Beard off"


Become a part time news anchor. (If Larry can do it, ANYONE CAN)


Do some arts and crafts projects.


PAV COULD....



Out dangle little children with mullets using your soccer (football) skills.


Go fishing and out deke the fish.


JOIN TWITTER AND AMUSE US WITH YOUR HILARITY! (DO IT. NO SERIOUSLY, PAV. DO. IT.)

Mondays are SO scrappy.



Mondays are boring and often we all need a little pick me up



What's better than a five hour energy?!?



Why a SCRAPPY GOALIE you knucklehead!!



Because seeing goalies scrap is kind of like hearing your Grandma swear...



You know she CAN swear but there's an overwhelming sense of awesome when she does.








This last video is fight filled but to get to the goalie part skip to 1:15 or so and wait for it... "HERE COMES CHEVELDAE!!!!!"



HAPPY MONDAY!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Holy CHEESE-FEST Batman

I know I spend most of my time on here poking fun at the jackhole nature of some hockey jankwads BUUUUUUT for a change JennHo got a little sentimental. Shocked? Me too.


A couple years ago I heard the song "Whenever You Remember" by Carrie Underwood (or Mike Fisher's wife as some in the hockey community refer to her as) and thought that it would be PERFECT for a photo montage. Cut to a few weeks ago when I heard the song again on Pandora I instantly knew I *HAD* to make a montage type dealio. The program I was using to edit the video crashed and I had to use an online photo montage type interweb site to get the montage out of my head and into your eyes.



New and old-Past and present-Winners and those who never came close-Those still with us and those gone but not forgotten
ENJOY


Sunday, December 12, 2010

This is myself... Profiling... myself.

Name:
Jenn Holstine (contrary to popular belief my last name is not Ho)

Blog or Site that you blog for:
uh… This one.

Tell us something about your blog or the site that you blog for:
I'd like to think it’s light-hearted with a sprinkling of seriousness

Who is the most underrated player?
There are so many talented players that don’t get the credit that they deserve for what they do but I’ll go with the Red Wings’ goalies, Jimmy Howard and Chris Osgood. Ozzie isn’t nearly as bad as everyone makes him out to be and Jimmy isn’t as young and naive as they portray him.

Who is the most overrated player?
I’ll have to go with Sidney Crosby. He’s good. Even as a Red Wings fan I can admit that but he’s not the second coming of God (or Gretzky for that matter)

What is the first jersey you ever owned?
I believe it was a blank jersey but the first player jersey I ever got was a Jiri Fischer. I got his jersey as soon as it came out because I expected big things from him.


What is the most important piece of hockey memorabilia you own?
I’m a self-described memorabilia hoarder so this is hard. It’s like making someone pick which child they like best… assuming they like their children… I’ll go with all my Steve Yzerman retirement items.

What’s one rule you’d like to get rid of and why?
The “if you fight in the last five minutes of a losing effort you’ll be suspended” rule because Colin Campbell always seems to pardon everyone (unless they’re not on his golden player list).


What one rule would you add in its place and why?
I’d like to just take a couple more out but I guess I’d give the coaches opportunities to challenge an official's call (although I’m not certain that the war room making tie breakers would come back with any different answer)

Who’s creepier- Ovie or Crosby and why?
Both but I’ll go with Ovie. I’m scared his decapitated head will pop up in random places now.

Which team has the best logo?
Red Wings then the Leafs. I do have to say that I like the Winnipeg Jets’ logo MUCH better than the Phoenix Coyotes’ logo.

Who is your favorite all-time player?
I’m going to blow everyone away and say… Steve Yzerman.


Who is your favorite player now?
This question KILLS me because I love all the players... well MOST all of them. I’m a sucker for great defensemen so I’ll say... Jona... even I couldn’t do it… Nick Lidstrom or Nik Kronwall.

What team do you love to hate?
Could we call the officials association a team? No? Then Chicago. The “Detroit Sucks” chant at their championship parade killed me. Celebrate your team and it’s championship while you can, Jackholes.

What player do you love to hate?
Jordan Tootoo. I HATE that Inuit bastard.

What are your thoughts on Puck Bunnies?
I hate them with the fire of a thousand burning suns. Next question.

What are some of your favorite hockey blogs to read?
SSDD, Triple Deke, Production Line, Chicks, Neuie, Transplant, Far from the Norm, and so on and so forth. These blogger profiles have really had me reading a lot more consistently.

What player do you like that’s not on your chosen favorite team?
Ryan Kesler. He just seems like a great player on and off the ice. And I love his dance moves.

What team surprises you the most this year?
Montreal. I was curious to see if they could build on that playoff run from last year and really make a showing this season and (as it stands now) they’re fifth in the league standings.

What is your favorite hockey memory?
It has to be seeing Vladdy with the cup in 1998. That whole year led up to that one perfect emotional moment.

Which team has the worst jersey (third jerseys included)?
Columbus’ third jersey or Pittsburgh’s third jersey.

Of the floundering teams which team should pack up and move to a new market? Do you think the NHL will ever let that happen?
I’ll answer the second question first. No, I do not think any team will move as long as Gary Bettman is running the NHL. I would restructure a little bit more than others. Move the Panthers to Wisconsin, Switch the Wild and the Stars bringing back the North Stars and creating the Texas Wild, Move Phoenix back to Winnipeg as the Jets, Move the Islanders to Western Ontario. I know everyone wants a team in Hamilton but I think moving a team to Western Ontario they could market a rivalry between Winnipeg and that team rather well.

Do you follow other sports besides hockey or are you a one-sport fan?
I watch college football and hockey. I watch the Tigers as well. Mostly my life is consumed by watching hockey though.

What player from all the other teams that would you love to have on your team?
Ryan Kesler or Ryan Miller. I like to see Michigan born players make the Wings. Plus both are great all around people.


Keep it or Get rid it


Ticket Stubs: Keep.

An email from Colin Campbell: Print on a billboard

A Zetter-Sweater: Keep… and buy thirty more. I love me a Zetter-Sweater

A Kerry Fraser Hairstyle: ICK-Buzz it off… especially if it’s on Kerry Fraser’s head.

Ovie: He’s creepy as all get out but… keep.

Touch up Icing: Keep.

Shoot out: Keep until someone can figure out a better points system.

Gary Bettman: GET. RID. OF.


Tickets to a Pittsburgh game: Keep and give to someone who wants them. I’ve never seen a game outside of Detroit’s friendly confines and I’m not sure I want to.

Ryan Lambert: Keep (after someone gets him some Prozac and therapy for his negativity and anger issues)

Puck Bunnies: GET RID OF.

Puck from a losing effort: If it’s my losing effort and there are no milestones attached, get rid of. Superstitions and what not.

Sean Avery’s sloppy seconds: Get rid of. I really have no need for puck bunnies. Celebrity or not.

A signed Sidney Crosby picture just for you: Return to sender.

Biz Nasty on Twitter: He’s pretty ridiculous so… Keep.

Friday, December 10, 2010

And then there was one

At this time Hockey Blogette would like to thank Al Lorkis for all his posts made here and wish him well in all his future blogging endeavors. It was a pleasure having Al blog here.
(No other changes are being made to Hockey Blogette at this time. Blogger Profiles and the Jackhole of the Week will still continue as usual)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Whaddya say, Norm?

"How's life treating you, Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife."
(Couldn't really start a profile of Norm without paying homage to Mr. Peterson)




Name:
Norm Bona

Blog or Site that you blog for:
Far From the Norm (http://farfromthenorm.wordpress.com)

Tell us something about your blog or the site that you blog for:
Most recently it's turned into a college football blog, but it actually started off as me wanting to try something a bit different than a Livejournal account (that I no longer have). I like to write about anything, but mostly it's the Wings, Wolverines, my bass guitar, pop culture.

Who is the most underrated player?
On the Wings, Jimmy Howard-I expected a bit of a sophomore slump but he's exceeded expectations this year. Of course, that means being left off the All-Star ballot. Rest of the league, I'll say Steven Stamkos since the NHL only seems to recognize Sidney and Ovie.


Who is the most overrated player?
Roberto Luongo.

What is the first jersey you ever owned?
It would actually be a Detroit Pistons Isiah Thomas home jersey. First hockey jersey was the Red Wings white (home then, road now) Yzerman.

What is the most important piece of hockey memorabilia you own?
My signed Vladimir Konstantinov picture, 1996.

What’s one rule you’d like to get rid of and why?
There's a few that need to go/get revamped, but limited to just one: intent to blow. It gives way too much power to a referee simply for the fact that he can say 'I meant to blow the play dead'. It's ridiculous.

What one rule would you add in it’s place and why?
Adopt the CCHA point system: IIRC, 3 points for a regulation or OT win, if it goes to shoot out 2 points to the winner and 1 to the loser.


Who’s creepier- Ovie or Crosby and why?
As much as I love to hate on #87, there's just something about Ovechkin that screams 'creeper'. I'm afraid that if I watch him on tv for too long, I'll die five days later-it's like that movie 'The Ring'. This also applies to Todd Bertuzzi.

Which team has the best logo?
Outside of my Winged Wheel bias? The Montreal Canadiens.

Who is your favorite all-time player?
I still have a man crush on Steve Yzerman. Simply the best.

Who is your favorite player now?
Pavel Datsyuk-anytime the puck ends up on his stick the anticipation builds that something incredible is about to happen, and it's fun to watch.

What team do you love to hate?
I lived in Chicago last year, and experiencing the bandwagon up close was more than enough to bump them up to hated status.

What player do you love to hate?
Patrick Kane...it bothered me that I had to pull for him while he was playing for Team USA in the Olympics.

What are your thoughts on Puck Bunnies?
I do not like bandwagoning of any type. That being said, they sure are nice to observe out in the wild. Ha.



What are some of your favorite hockey blogs to read?
Kukla's Korner, The Production Line, Winging It In Motown, The Scrappy Octopus, The Triple Deke, and Hockey Blogette. No I'm not saying that just to be a kiss ass, I mean it. No offense intended to any I missed.

What player do you like that’s not on your chosen favorite team?
This is hard for me to say as a Wolverine, but Ryan Miller.

What team surprises you the most this year?
I figured Dallas would be residing close to the cellar of the Western Conference all season long, and they've done the exact opposite.


What is your favorite hockey memory?
June 7, 1997-getting to see The Captain raise that Cup for the first time is a memory I'll never forget.

Which team has the worst jersey (third jerseys included)?
The Minnesota Wild. You could hand a box of crayons to a 5 year old and odds are they'd come up with something a bit nicer to look at.

Of the floundering teams which team should pack up and move to a new market? Do you think the NHL will ever let that happen?
No offense to those living in the area, but I want to see Phoenix moved back to Winnipeg (by writing that down I've probably just been added to Bettman's secret "I don't like you" list). There's no way I see that happening as long as Bettman is in power.

Do you follow other sports besides hockey or are you a one-sport fan?
Born and raised in Detroit, so I picked up the Tigers, Pistons, and Lions along with the Wings. I'm also a proud Wolverine (No Rich Rodriguez, YOU raise ME up *sarcasm*).

What player from all the other teams that would you love to have on your team?
Michael Cammalleri from the Canadiens.



Keep it or Get rid it

Ticket Stubs:
Keep.

An email from Colin Campbell:
Keep, I'm sure it'll be useful later.

A Zetter-Sweater:
Uhh...keep.


A Kerry Fraser Hairstyle:
Get rid of, only Kerry Fraser can pull that off. There can be only one.

Sergei Fedorov:
Not the popular opinion, but keep.

Touch up Icing:
Keep.

Shoot out:
GET. RID. OF.

Gary Bettman:
Kee...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I couldn't say keep with a straight face. Get rid of.

Tickets to a Pittsburgh game:
Keep. I want to see how many fans I could annoy before getting thrown out.

Ryan Lambert:
Keep...it's fun laughing at him.

Puck Bunnies:
Keep. Yeah, I said it.

Puck from a losing effort:
Keep, unless it's a playoff loss.

Sean Avery’s sloppy seconds:
Keep. I'm not blind.

A signed Sidney Crosby picture just for you:
Keep. I'm tired of throwing darts at RichRod's face, I need to change it up.

Biz Nasty on Twitter:
I'm not following him, but I can see why others would. Keep.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

One Brazilian without the pain

Name:
Guilherme Calciolari

Blog or Site that you blog for:
Red Wings Brasil and TheSlot.com.br

Tell us something about your blog or the site that you blog for:
Red Wings Brasil is a Wings blog in Portuguese (of course), TheSlotBr is an objective NHL blog (and since I can't pretend to be unbiased, I usually write about the business side of the League).

Who is the most underrated player?
On the Wings, Patrick Eaves. I'll never understand why he's not played at the point on power-plays, since he has a great right-shot (Wings rarity) and can defend any shorthanded play that comes.

Who is the most overrated player?
Mike Green. Or Roberto Luongo. Pick one, any one.


What is the first jersey you ever owned?
A road white Zetterberg.

What is the most important piece of hockey memorabilia you own?
Oh... The signed Helm jersey is awesome, but there's also the Hockeytown: No Limits sign that all the players signed... I'd die for both, can't decide. (And there's also Helm's signed stick that airlines and mailing companies don't want me to have. I may have to go back to pick it up)

What’s one rule you’d like to get rid of and why?
The extended crease. Or Dan O'Halloran.

What one rule would you add in it’s place and why?
Change the point system. I'd like to see something more like soccer, with points going from 0 to 3, rewarding teams that go for the win.

Who’s creepier- Ovie or Crosby and why?
I don't think Ovechkin is creepy, but the little Rosby dude... Dude, you either have a beard or you don't. And you don't.

Which team has the best logo?
From first to sixth place, the Red WIngs. In seventh, I like the blue and golden Sabres one.

Who is your favorite all-time player?
Brendan Shanahan. It might be just for the empty-netter in '02, or for his role in March 26th 97th, or for his playoff goatee... Well, it's Shanny.


Who is your favorite player now?
My Helm man-crush is 70% irrational, so I'm going with Hank Zetterberg (just 20% irrational). He's an awesome two-way player and usually more consistent than Datsyuk. Also, Hank's probably the only guy who can stop Rosby.

What team do you love to hate?
I still have a nice bad feeling for the Avalanche. Sometimes I wish they didn't suck. And it's cool to hate the Penguins too, shame they play in the East. As for Chicago, they won't affect me until they beat us in the playoffs (in 2049).

What player do you love to hate?
Sidney Crosby, obviousy. The less obvious choice is Kyle Quincey. I hated how he whined about a Cup ring after playing 6 games with the Wings in '08.

What are your thoughts on Puck Bunnies?
I hate any bandwagoner, be it from winning or just players' hotness. And if you think the guys is hot, cheer all you want. From your living room.

What are some of your favorite hockey blogs to read?
Abel to Yzerman, The Triple Deke and The Production Line are my favorites, I like how the guys mix hockey knowledge, coolness and, apparently, alcohol.

What player do you like that’s not on your chosen favorite team?
Rick Nash. The dude scares me to death, I'd love to have him as a Wing, if only so we didn't face him six times a season.

What team surprises you the most this year?
Tampa Bay is a big surprise, but there was a lot of movement down there. I'm more surprised with the Blue Jackets, who are battling in the West with only a coaching change.

What is your favorite hockey memory?
The first game I watched in person, in March '10. It was a great win, had playoffs implications (unusual for a March game at the Joe) and I had awesome friends by my side.

Which team has the worst jersey (third jerseys included)?
Any black jersey other than the Bruins', and I loathe the baby blue the Penguins wear. It's a mens game, dammit.


Of the floundering teams which team should pack up and move to a new market? Do you think the NHL will ever let that happen?
Bettman would rather die before admitting that hockey doesn't work in Phoenix (a choice I'd might agree with). The Coyotes and the Panthers sould fold, and the California has no need for three hockey teams.

Do you follow other sports besides hockey or are you a one-sport fan?
I'm a big soccer fan, so I follow my Corinthians very close. I also like most North American sports, and I'm a fan of the Patriots (NFL) and the Giants (MLB). And the NBA could die.

What player from all the other teams that would you love to have on your team?
Other than Rick Nash, I don't want anyone. Kenny and Jimmy D and Uncle Mike can make any decision and I'll back them'up. Except Derian Hatcher.



Keep it or Get rid it


Ticket Stubs:
Keep it.

An email from Colin Campbell:
Blackmail alert, keep it.

A Zetter-Sweater:
Too warm in here, too hard to look at... Get it of.

Dan O’Halloran:
DIE, DIE, DIEEEEE

Sergei Fedorov:
Get rid of. I loved him, but he ruined everything. We should have the 19-91 simmetry up in the rafters, but he had to go nuts.

Touch up Icing:
Indifferent. So... keep it.

Shoot out:
No. Just no. New point system or just go back to ties, but get rid of anyways.

Gary Bettman:
Get rid it. Retroactively.

Tickets to a Phoenix game:
Keep it, it's hockey.

Ryan Lambert:
Keep it, I'll keep not reading it.

Puck Bunnies:
Send them over to my house.


Puck from a losing effort:
It depends. Regular season, keep it. Post season, toss it from a bridge.

Sean Avery’s sloppy seconds:
Priceless. Keep it. That interview should be in the Hall of Fame.


A signed Sidney Crosby picture just for you:
Keep it and open Photoshop.


Biz Nasty on Twitter:
I don't follow him, I don't get his over-the-top humor. But a lot of people like him, so keep it. For them.

A Singular Deke Profile


Name:
Tyler Devereaux

Blog or Site that you blog for:
The Triple Deke

Tell us something about your blog or the site that you blog for:
TTD is a hockey blog that, when you add up all of the posts together, probably contains about 13% actual hockey content and the rest is stream-of-conscious nonsense disguised as a veiled attempt at humor.

Who is the most underrated player?
As perceived by fans outside of Detroit, Jimmy is always going to be underrated on this team as long as there's an abundance of talent in front of him. Around the league I'm looking at Jan Hejda, Mikko Koivu, Tobias Enstrom, Ryan Callahan, and Ian White -- who is a good player that can't stop getting traded. And this will leave me with absolutely no friends, but I think that people claim Mike Green is so overrated that he has almost become underrated as a result, because nobody wants to acknowledge his offensive contributions. In the Internet's defense, Mike Green is a total douche bag.

Who is the most overrated player?
For the time being, it can't not be Ilya Kovalchuk. Which saddens me because he's one of my favorite players, and because it's an extremely cliche answer. But in terms of money wasted on an investment, right now, he's the only answer to this question.

What is the first jersey you ever owned?
The first jersey I ever owned was a red Steve Yzerman jersey. I wore it every other day and kept it on when eating dangerous foods like spaghetti and other stain-inducing Italian cuisine. I also played street hockey in it, because I am a complete moron.

What is the most important piece of hockey memorabilia you own?
A framed Gordie Howe picture that is signed and has the words, "To Tyler: Best of Luck -- Gordie Howe." In a perfect world it would be signed in his blood and read, "I am better than you in ever conceivable way" but beggars can't be choosers.

What’s one rule you’d like to get rid of and why?
Intent to blow. In the year 3500 when this rule has long been abolished, hockey historians will look back on this time period and remark, "So wait. A play could be ruled dead at the mere thought of a referee blowing his whistle, even if some important event (like I don't know, a goal), could occur between then and the actual sound of the whistle, and you would have to pretend as if that goal never happened? And they couldn't review this?" Actually, we're saying all of this stuff right now. So in essence, there is a rule in place currently that makes about as much sense as the Earth being flat. Intent to Blow = the Earth is flat. This league is ruled by ancient Greece.


What one rule would you add in it’s place and why?
I don't know if a coach's challenge eliminates that, because we've seen referees review plays that are obvious goals but end up with rulings such as "The play was blown dead, even though the puck was never covered and went into the net, so, yeah, suck it Brad May." I think we'd be safer off if plays were reviewed by Brendan Shanahan's dog.

Who’s creepier- Ovie or Crosby and why?
Ovechkin. Crosby doesn't really creep me out per se, but just from looking at him, I'm relatively certain that Ovie has killed somebody.

Which team has the best logo?
I like that one with the wheel and the feathers.


Who is your favorite all-time player?
Gonna go under the radar here and say Steve Yzerman. He alone made me fall head first in love with hockey. And men, I think.

Who is your favorite player now?
Datsyuk. He does at least one thing that makes me laugh every game, and at least one thing that makes me sad because I'm not smart enough to comprehend it.

What team do you love to hate?
I love to hate the Blackhawks. Things are better when they're relevant.

What player do you love to hate?
Corey Perry. I like my sports better when there are villains and he's a damn good one.

What are your thoughts on Puck Bunnies?
I'd imagine I'd have more of an opinion if I weren't just a dumb guy, but I have a withering attention span and hey what's that over there

What are some of your favorite hockey blogs to read?
Blogs that make me laugh, or think, or both. Babcock's Death Stare was the best mix before Kyle moved on to real life grown-up people work. Herm and J.J. from Kansas are the two funniest Wings reads for me. Kings writer Rudy Kelly at Battle of California is my favorite non-Detroit blogger.

What player do you like that’s not on your chosen favorite team?
I like Zach Parise more than a number of Red Wings.

What team surprises you the most this year?
I picked the Devils to be in the Finals. So yeah.

What is your favorite hockey memory?
1996, Steve Yzerman, double overtime. It was great watching the four championships, it's been great watching all of the great players, but to go total cornball on you: the moments like this one are the ultimate reason I live to watch sports. Going from wanting to puke out of nervousness to absolute bliss like that is something that you can't replicate with anything else.

Which team has the worst jersey (third jerseys included)?
Anaheim's 3rd jersey is beyond the scope of awful. Few people know this, but it actually went back in time and shot Abraham Lincoln. It's pure evil.

Of the floundering teams which team should pack up and move to a new market? Do you think the NHL will ever let that happen?
The thought of there being a professional hockey team in Miami instead of somewhere in Canada physically pains me. Miami is just a bad sports town, period.

Do you follow other sports besides hockey or are you a one-sport fan?
I'm a fan of all sports, and pull for all of Detroit's teams. I'm also a proud Michigan State alum and supporter.


What player from all the other teams that would you love to have on your team?
Zach Parise. With a 17 year contract at $650 K / per.



Keep it or Get rid it

Ticket Stubs: I keep them all. No joke, on the driver's side visor in my car, I have a Wings/Blackhawks stub with Brett Lebda's face on it from last season. I see Lebda's face every time I go somewhere and it makes me chuckle.

An email from Colin Campbell: Keep it. I could save it and use it in the future to make my blog popular and have old guys on TSN tell me how mom's basement-y I am.


Biz Nasty on Twitter: I'm the one guy not following him.

A Zetter-Sweater: I personally wouldn't be able to pull it off. But I'd keep one if Z took it off and threw it at like Mean Joe Green.

Dan O’Halloran: Rid.

Sergei Fedorov: Keep.

Touch up Icing: Nope.

Shoot out: IT'S A WITCH

Gary Bettman: .......................

Tickets to a Phoenix game: Keep it and go hang out with about 11,000 Wings fans.

Gap in your teeth: Keep it.

Puck Bunnies: Keep. What?

Puck from a losing effort: Keep it.



Sean Avery’s sloppy seconds: Keep it. If we're talking about Elisha Cuthbert, it can be sloppy 98ths.


A signed Sidney Crosby picture just for you: Keep. It's no guarantee that my toilet will work tomorrow.