More WHOA than Joey Lawrence

Name?
Josh Emerson (@Whoabot).

Favorite team?
Why, that would be the Detroit Red Wings. I also have an affinity for the Leafs and Lightning...and don't tell anyone, but I secretly like the Predators. shhh.


Who is the most underrated player?The most underrated player in the NHL right now is Darren Helm. I wouldn't say he's the most underrated on the Wings, just because we all know what he brings to the table and I think we as a fanbase rate him pretty favorably. He's ridiculously fast, he's strong on the puck (usually), and he's an amazing penalty killer. Good at drawing penalties, too. In a fan sense, he gets people out of their seats. If anyone disputes any of this, go over to Youtube and relive Darren Helm's one-man penalty kill against the Hawks in 2009. Enough said.

Who is the most overrated player?
This is a really hard question, and I really didn't want to answer it with this - I really wanted to think of someone else, but Sidney Crosby. It's not because I don't think he's good - I know he's good. He's very good. Admittedly, my opinion may be soured due to the sheer idiocy of a majority of the Pittsburgh fanbase, but the constant hero worship of even the smallest things he does is very annoying to me. I hate watching a hockey broadcast between teams like Buffalo and Minnesota and having each intermission filled with a discussion about why Sidney Crosby is Jesus and a filler piece about Sidney going fishing. Don't even get me started on the headshot/concussion fiasco that started because of him. There are a million other dudes in the league who got hurt and with far worse hits. Where's their coverage? Plus the whole Mario whining when he employs Matt Cooke. As for Crosby, dude's a crybaby. His attitude sucks. He's a flopper. No personality. Overrated.

What is your favorite jersey (regardless of if you own it or not)?
Yzerman 19 with the C. It's classic. I mean, nearly everyone owns it, and for good reason. He IS the Red Wings. Aside from maybe Gordie Howe, he's what you think of when you think of Detroit. You could just say "19" and everyone knows what you mean.

What is the most important piece of hockey memorabilia you own?
I have a personalized autographed picture from Marty Turco. My roommate from Central Michigan's father was close to the Dallas Stars and managed to snag me an autographed picture for my 23rd birthday. Marty Turco is my favorite goaltender. It's hard to say it now, since he's with Chicago, but I do love Marty Turco. It's very special to me.


What’s one rule you’d like to get rid of and why?
That stupid trapezoid. It restricts the goalies way too much. Plus, the penalty they get for touching the puck even a fraction of a centimeter inside it is pointless. I wanna see goalies play the puck more, see what they can do.

What one rule would you add in it’s place and why?
I honestly can't think of any rules I'd add, except maybe "If you crank someone in the head from the blindside, we can fire you". I don't care if someone's not a repeat offender, if you do that, you're in big trouble, buster. No free passes for that.

Who’s creepier- Ovie or Crosby and why?
Crosby. I don't find Ovechkin creepy in the least. Crosby's mustache, though....usually, if one has a mustache like that, you'd usually find them going door to door in their new neighborhood...

Which team has the best logo?
Gotta go with the Wings. Surprise, eh? I mean, it's a winged wheel. That's cool, plus it's classic. Runner up would likely be the Sharks, just because I really like sharks.

Who is your favorite all-time player?
All time is Steve Yzerman. Ridiculously skilled player and as classy as they come.

Who is your favorite player now?
Pavel Datsyuk. He's very strong on the puck and just a magician with the stick. They don't call him Houdini for nothing. Off the ice, he's ridiculously humble, team centered, and hilarious. Really, you can't hate him.


What team do you love to hate?
Penguins. Cheap shotting whiners who never seem to get their comeuppance from the league for whatever reason *OBVIOUS COUGH*. Their fans are horrible bandwagoners and are some of the most unpleasant aspects of humanity. Hey, remember that time your owner had to threaten to move your team to Kansas City? Of course not. That was before your time...6 years ago. I would honestly rather talk hockey with a fire hydrant, because a fire hydrant wouldn't make fun of my state's economic problems. Or maybe it would. I don't know fire hydrants. Also, Matt Cooke.

What player do you love to hate?
It's a tie between Matt Cooke and Corey Perry. Both are incredibly scummy and dirty players. Corey Perry has a face only a mother could love and that everyone else wants to punch.

What are your thoughts on Puck Bunnies?
Not a fan. Then again, neither are they. You're not really a fan of a sport if you're just in it to bang guys.

What player do you like that’s not on your chosen favorite team?
Alex Ovechkin. I love Ovie. I love that he's like a rambunctious little kid when he plays. He's fast, he hits, he scores. He's just so entertaining and full of personality. He just LOOKS like he's having fun out there. All the time.

What team surprises you the most this year?
I won't say Tampa Bay. I know they're winning lots of games and are playoff bound, but Steve Yzerman is in charge. No surprise. But I think New Jersey is the most surprising. They had such a horrible start, but with the recent tear they've been on, they had people thinking they could actually make the playoffs in spite of the John MacLean fiasco. ...guess they really do *die hard*. ...okay, sorry. Bad joke. And yes, I know McClane...whatever.

What is your favorite hockey memory?
On my blog Beards of War, last year, I wrote an entry called "What the Detroit Red Wings Mean to Me". In it, I described how I became a fan, and my most cherished hockey memory and why I loved the team. Basically, I lived a year in Colorado and it was the worst of my life. I won't go into details, but in a nutshell, I wanted to die. The year was 2001-2002. I was a Michigan boy taking all this crap from people in that dreadful state desperately wanting to go home. During the playoffs, I watched Detroit destroy Colorado in the conference finals. The 7-0 game. I can't really describe my feelings watching that, other than it was amazing. Then I watched them win the Stanley Cup. And I felt like they won it for me, like they were telling me to not give up. I can beat this. And I did - three months later, we moved back to Michigan. To this day, watching the end of Game 5 of the 2002 finals gives me goosebumps and I tear up a little. My absolute favorite hockey memory.


Which team has the worst jersey (third jerseys included)?
I hate the Colorado Avalanche's color scheme. Their third jersey is super ugly too.

Of the floundering teams which team should pack up and move to a new market? Do you think the NHL will ever let that happen?
Phoenix. The team has NEVER made money and their ownership situation is a constant circus. The whole 'public funds covering debt' thing is shady too. And as we've seen, the NHL is fighting tooth and nail to keep the team there for whatever reason...and that reason is "GARY BETTMAN MUST NEVER BE PROVEN WRONG."

Do you follow other sports besides hockey or are you a one-sport fan?
I don't follow any sport as intently as I follow hockey. I do watch baseball in the summer, though - I'm a fan of the Tigers and Marlins.

What player from all the other teams that would you love to have on your team?
Well, I'd say Ovie again, for all the reasons listed above. Second choice would be Shea Weber. I like his game (cheap shots from the last game excluded) and his shot.

Do you believe that a fan can cheer for more than one team and still call themselves the biggest (insert team name here) fan?
To be truthful, I don't think someone can call themselves the biggest fan of any team regardless. I mean, there's always someone to dispute it. "I have more jerseys than you!" "Yeah, well Brent Fedyk autographed my kidney!" I tend to stay away from that whole argument.

Keep it or Get rid of it

Ticket Stubs: Keep.
Twitter: I'll say keep, just because it's how I get my hockey news...and talk to people. There's a lot of reasons I'd like to get rid of it (mainly time management), but not just yet.

Swedish Style Tailoring: Keep. Just because I'm jealous of them and my inability to pull off those clothes is no reason to get rid of it.
Stephan Walkom: Ehhh...get rid of him.
Biz Nasty: At one point, I would've said keep him, but he's really just obnoxious now. He's jumped the shark. Maybe take a break for a while, but not quite 'get rid of'.
Touch up Icing: I would say "keep it", just because I don't think no-touch would work in the NHL. I think hybrid icing would be a much better choice, though.
Shoot out: GET RID OF IT. Do 5 minutes of 3 on 3 or something instead. I have no problem with ties. No charity point.
Colin Campbell: Get rid of him. Guy isn't competent enough to do his job.
Tickets to an Oilers game: ...for free? Sure, give 'em here.
Puck from a losing effort: ...also for free? Keep. Gimme.
Puck Bunnies: Sometimes they're nice to look at, but I'd rather have real fans in those seats.

Composite Sticks: Get rid of 'em. I like the wood ones.
Biz Nasty’s sloppy seconds: Judging by the girls this guy porks, keep them away from me. I like nice girls...and ones that don't look like bleached blonde potatoes.
A signed Matt Cooke picture just for you: Ha. Yeah, that's funny. You can keep it. I'd probably just pee on it. Or elbow it.
Darren McCarty on Twitter: KEEP. Long live the D-Mac.