Every now and again I feel the sudden need to jump upon my soapbox and scream to the puck bunny community, "KNOCK IT THE FUCK OUT!!!"
I recently read statements from a group of girls whose plans for the summer include a trip to Manitoba (to stalk Darren Helm) and plans to search the Michigan State University campus high and low looking for Justin Abdelkader.
Before I commence my rant, I should take the time to say this:
Shockingly enough, I am not a robot. I can indeed recognize when a player is physically attractive or not. The ability came with this set of eyes and brain that I was gifted at birth. They're really swell. If you don't have them, I suggest acquiring them. But the difference between myself and puck bunnies (there are numerous but I'll just focus on this one) is that I recognize some one's talent prior to forming an opinion of if they're good or not. "Oh, that Darren Helm! He's just SO dreamy! NEW FAVORITE PLAYER ALERT!!!" I'm sorry sunshines but that's not how it's supposed to work. The players aren't playing to be the next Jonathon Taylor Thomas or whoever graces the pages of Tiger Beat these days. Becoming your piece of hot man meat is not why they're busting their asses working out right now. It's for the sport, the team, the opportunity to play, and the Stanley Cup.
That being said let's move back to the "Hey! You're CRAZY" portion of this rant. Following someone around is considered by most to be, DUN DUN DUN DUN, stalking! Believe it or not they have laws against that. There is actions players could take against you for your crazy ways. I understand some people want to meet players but trying to meet them this way makes me sick.
"Stop judging me!" No.
Question. Do you HONESTLY believe that a player would touch you with a 50ft pole after he discovered the bullshit and psychotic stuff you did in order to meet him? If the roles were reversed and someone was following you around, you wouldn't think it was sweet or that the person was a good match. You would think they were CRAZY and call the cops.
Now before I get accused to some bullshit by some assholes who hate me and my blog let me say this: I don't give a fuck who you bang. If you sleep with the players solely to sleep with player then give yourself a gold star in puck bunnery. My issues with the puck bunny community are many. So many that I could probably write a book called "Puck Bunnies: Why I Hate Those Skankholes". The issue that concerns me the most is the insane behavior. The behavior that sometimes makes me concerned for the players and their families.
I'm curious as to what the voices in the puck bunny's heads say. Do they cheer them on or are they being muted by the noise that has filled their head due to contact with others in the puck bunny community? Where do the lines between just wanting to meet a player and becoming obsessed/turning into the chick from The Roommate stop or begin?
If any of those broads are reading this:
Before you purchase that ticket to Manitoba or take exit 106B to merge onto I-496 W/US-127 N toward Downtown Lansing consider if you would like someone following you. Someone interrupting your life, your summer, your free time. Someone stalking you. It's not flattering to them. I'm sure of it. It's creepy. Please stop. Just stop. That's really what you need to do. Just stay home or go to Frankenmuth or something. Just don't go there. Don't be that crazy. Just don't.
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